But this time, when we said “open relationship,” we really meant Chris was working as a bartender and I was working a day job in the human services industry. When I decided to retreat to the cell service-less mountains for a month to direct a youth summer camp, it became clear that Chris wanted some…company.I had dabbled in non-monogamy previously in more casual relationships, so it wasn’t a hard leap for me to make.The diamonds latched to my ring finger certainly helped out in the security department.There are many people that are open to a poly experience but will not be the first to act. Write your profile and then let your lover read and edit it.As long as you are upfront about your current relationship and what you are looking for this is a great way to increase your chances. It’s tempting to stretch the truth in a favorable way – a photo or age entry that is a few years younger, a slightly higher salary, or changing your info to match a third you are trying to entice. Poly relationships work with direct and honest communication so don’t blow it before you meet. We’re not always aware or able to express our best qualities. How you describe what you and your partner have is key. Someone needs to read about your relationship and think, I want to know these people, I want to experience the kind of love they have.
NON-MONOGAMY: You’re doing it wrong/That shit’s hard.
Even with all your plans in place, things have a way of being thrown into chaos. It may be that some members of your polycule are finished with the whole poly travel thing, and that’s their choice.
Try to roll with it as best you can with the intention of evening things out for everyone in the end. The point is to structure your future time together so that everyone feels happy and respected.
Here are tips on writing a poly profile: Separate Profiles.
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want you to pretend that you are single to find a third but using sites that are not poly-specific will open you up to a wider range of possibilities.